Let’s Reflect a Bit
written: September 30, 2021
As I consider the flower reflected in the window, I wonder what I might find if I would only stop for a minute and be curious about my own reflection. What might I see? How would I feel about what I see? Would there be a nudge that something needs to change? What about God? What might he be thinking about the one who is looking back at me? What look would be on his face as I reflect on me? While considering my reflection, might I feel a sting about something? Something might feel “off” or not quite right.
If that rings true to you, maybe we need to just stop for a minute. (We’re always in such a hurry.) Perhaps there are some lingering moments waiting to be noticed. We could just rush right through to the holidays around the corner, but maybe it would be better to slow down and take care of a few things before we get ultra-busy with other things.
I encourage you to not shy away when something feels “a bit off.” Go after it.
Jan Johnson writes, “It’s not the experience that brings transformation, it’s our reflection upon our experience.” Ever eager for understanding, I often stop to reflect, usually by writing in my journal. How about you?
If you think there might be some “unfinished business” and you want to see if you might gain insight from it, I encourage you to read to the end of this writing and then come back here to participate in what I’m suggesting.
Let’s start by closing your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and feel yourself relaxing and thinking thoughts toward God.
I like to start moments like this with part of a prayer from Every Moment Holy, by Douglas McKelvey.
Meet me, O Christ, in this stillness of morning.
Move me, O Spirit, to quiet my heart.
Mend me, O Father, from yesterday’s harms.
This prayer stops me and reminds me that this is God’s time to talk. I need to pay attention, be curious, and listen to him. Psalm 50:3 assures us: Our God comes and will not be silent!
At first, let words of welcome rise up from within you and thank him for the opportunity to rest in his presence.
I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer. Show me the wonders of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.
Psalm 17:6-8
Where might you feel most comfortable meeting with God? Hiding in the shadow of his wings? Resting between his shoulders? (Deut. 33:12) Outside in his creation? How about up high on a rock? (Psalm 27:5) Or being surrounded by his unfailing love? (Ps 32:10) Find the image that feels most protective and safe and imagine you and him together there. Enjoy the moment. Listen. Watch. And listen more. When you are ready, ask Him to bring to mind anything that remains incomplete and in need of attention.
You may sense someone’s name. A conversation might come to mind, or just a single word. Something might be troubling you and it shows up. Maybe there’s a decision to be made. Perhaps something happened and you need to cry. If fear comes up, look it over and bring it to Him, asking for a light. If a scripture shows itself, open your Bible, look it up and reflect on its meaning. Perhaps God is inviting you to do something about whatever comes to mind. Maybe he wants to show you something about it. Maybe he simply wants you to talk to him about it, to ask for wisdom, or forgiveness, or to simply rest with him.
In the past couple of months, the invitation to be curious about my heart has shown me how vulnerable I truly am. If I don’t take time to reflect, moments of learning will pass by like a wandering stream and I may miss their deeper graces. The Holy Spirit has shown that Christ is with me, asking me to rest securely in him. It’s a relief. But this kind of trust takes a willingness to set aside the time it takes to listen for the whisper, to offer an open heart, and to welcome him in.
I have been able to envision myself sitting at the feet of Jesus like Mary when he visited her home. There we were able to uncover some quiet desperations and a few truths that I "knew" but didn't quite believe applied to me. I realized a need to be assured of the truth that I am indeed His beloved and He is mine.
As I have spent time with him, God has given me some glimpses of His grace from the past few months.
Our pastor spoke about stepping toward fear/anxiety rather than hiding from it. (My #9 personality wants me to numb to fear and not stir up any kind of conflict.) I felt reminded.
A dear one's willingness to be vulnerable opened a sacred way for her heart and mine to connect. I felt welcomed.
A quote from Ann Voskamp: “I’m like a wounded little bird who falls occasionally but is held in the most tender way until healing comes so I can fly again.” I have felt like that little bird, shivery and afraid, but held, known, and loved, resting in the cupped hands of grace.
When I bent down to pick up the heart-shaped rock on the trail in Colorado, I felt seen and loved.
A scripture this morning from 2 Timothy 1:7 assured me. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but he as given us a spirit of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control." I have often felt timid but also brave and invited to be a part of the kingdom work he has ready for me.
After telling a bit of my summer story, one of my spiritual direction classmates noticed: “You started with “I am a mess.” and you moved to “I am complete.” where you lovingly experienced a Kairos moment.” In a nutshell, that has been my last six months. I felt heard.
I received a phone call from my 8-year-old granddaughter, “I love you so much, Grandma. You are so…um… pretty and I love you so much.” Ahhh. That went deep. I felt seen and wanted.
Just yesterday in hugs from my tender-hearted 4-year-old grandson, I noticed how the body-to-body human love helps me to physically feel Christ’s love for me.
Christ is lovingly inviting you and me to live as ones restored. Mended. With the brokenness lovingly tended to. Wounds examined. Fullness brought back. God’s grace stitches the seams and enables his truth to billow up and affirm over and over as we lay our weary heads into the truth of His precious fashioning.
I implore you. Are you feeling frayed? Do you need mending? May I suggest you find a quiet spot today to get away with Jesus? He'll be so pleased to have you sit with him for a while and in some quiet way, he will let you know how incredibly loved you are. Breathe in. Breathe out. Listen for it. Feel it. And trust him. Here are a few scriptures for you to take with you: Deuteronomy 33:12, Psalm 103, John 10:1-21, Psalm 139:1-18.
That's the journey I'm on. As I look back, I realize that more and more I'm unfolding my cautious arms and trusting God, while stepping into the truth of who he is imploring me to be. I know his favor surrounds me like a shield (Psalm 5:12) and I gladly step into that safe place while boldly facing the battles that come my way. I invite you to join me in the ever-present, loving, compelling, mysterious love of God.
Taking time to reflect on our lives, while listening to and talking with God, is where transformation and relationship begin.