Fatherlike
Father’s Day is right around the corner and of course, our minds turn toward our dads. Would you close your eyes for a moment and think about your dad? See his smile and his eyes? What color were they? How was he built - tall and lanky or short and stout? What did you love about him? What did he love about you? Are your memories sweet? Or not? What feelings come to you as you recall your dad?
In the past, I have written about my dad. If you are interested, here are a few links to those pieces. On Dads & Cheeks & Love and Running Up The Stairs. But today I am not writing about him. I’m thinking about how God wants to father us and how he wants us to know him in that way. I know that sometimes our memories or feelings about our dads get in the way of truly finding God as he wants to be known.
What is it like to be a father? It is fatherlike to be a responsible and faithful provider. Being fun-loving, smart, and wise are qualities we want in a dad. We want our fathers to be strong and stable and safe and approachable and present and dependable and able to connect and fair and brave and loving and kind. Whew…what a list! But indeed all these qualities are fatherlike.
For many people, the word father brings up memories of a person who did not hold those qualities. Our memories are painful and the loss feels great.
But what if God doesn’t want us to see him as we see our earthly dads? What if, instead, he wants the opposite? Perhaps he wants our earthly dads to look to him as their model on how to love their children? And we can, instead, look to Him for a truly fatherlike Father. And, dare I say, that perhaps we would have no father wounds if only our dads knew how to take their “dad instructions” straight from God? What might they find?
The Bible tells us that Jesus constantly referred to God as “my Father.” ( John 10:37-38) He taught his disciples to pray by starting with “Our Father.” (Matthew 6:9) In the Old Testament, God referred to the Israelites as his children. (Isaiah 43:5-7) Isaiah prophesied that Jesus would be born and would be called, among other things, Everlasting Father! (Isaiah 9:6) I wonder why God wants us to see him in this way? If he is the perfect Father, how does he show it?
I found an old hymn in which each of the four verses gives us a picture of what God is like. Here is the third verse of Praise, my Soul, the King of Heaven, written by H. F. Lyte in 1834. It gives us some clues.
Fatherlike he tends and spares us
Well our feeble frame he knows
In his hand he gently bears us
Rescues us from all our foes
What image comes to your mind when you imagine God, as a Father, tending and sparing us, knowing our feeble frame, gently bearing us, and rescuing us from all that comes against us? Linger over this picture a bit. Does a memory come to mind?
I close my eyes and I recall a scene from our morning church service several weeks ago. My husband and I were sitting behind a family with small children. The mom was up front, a part of the worship team, while the dad sat with two of their children, while their littlest was in the nursery. At one point we all stood up to sing and the dad picked up his three-year-old daughter and held her during the worship time. She put her little arms around him and snuggled her face up against the side of his neck. She seemed comfortable like this was a normal place for her to rest while he sang and she contentedly looked around.
Fatherlike. Yes. This image feels Fatherlike.
I looked at her a bit longingly, wishing I could have had a dad like that: in church, holding me close, worshiping God. But in the same moment, I realize that in the midst of the sadness of that desire I find a full-blown fulfillment of that desire because God intimately tends to the needs of his children, and has done so with me. God, like that dad in front of me, holds his children. How many times have I cried out to Him needing the assurance that I could trust his heart when mine was breaking? How many times has he assured me that he is with me like a shepherd tending his sheep? Like a dad, holding his daughter while she weeps. Like a mother, embracing her son while he grieves.
Dane Ortlund writes in Gentle and Lowly, “The deeper into weakness and suffering and testing we go, the deeper into Christ’s heart we go, not away from it.” Good fathers, who love their children dearly, draw them nearer when they are the neediest. They love them more when they need it the most. God does this also.
Picture that kind of Fatherlike God holding you, paying attention, knowing you fully, and offering himself.
As the little girl in front of us held on to her daddy, who was holding on to her, she must have heard and felt his voice lifted up in worship as it resonated through his voice to her ears and through his chest to her heart.
Can you envision being held by God? Why might he be holding you? What are you in need of? Are you afraid? Has anger gotten ahold of you? Has grief risen once again? Are you feeling left out, unseen, lonely, or unwanted?
Linger over the image of God holding you. Hear his heartbeat and his joy that you will let him be as a Father to you.
Just sit for a bit.
The Bible gives us other Fatherlike qualities of God:
God is present and attentive. (Isaiah 58:9)
God keeps us close to his heart. (Isaiah 40:11)
God knows our name and satisfies us with good things. (Isaiah 43:1)
He comforts us in our sadness and celebrates with our joys. (John 14)
He loves us. (Jeremiah 31:3)
He is not willing to leave us fatherless (John 14:18)
He sets limits…we are not free to do everything we’d like to do, for our own safety and the good of society. (Matthew 5)
He invites us to be with him, takes great delight in us, and even sings over us. (Zephaniah 3:17)
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I love seeing dads who tenderly hold their children. It has been a lifesaver for me to see God in such fatherlike fashion. When little girls, and little boys, like you and me, find that the place reserved for their dad is empty or wounded, it is incredibly healing and protective to find that the One who truly belongs there is right by our side, ready to be invited in.
(A special thanks to the dads and uncle in these photos. They have fathered well.)